Wednesday, September 25, 2013

A Video: On My Haiti Experience and Brokenness

I had a different post ready to go today on writing a bannable book and decided (for the umpteenth time) not to publish it, despite this being Banned Books Week. Go me.

Instead I've decided, after much debate, to post the video of a presentation I gave over the weekend on my experience in Haiti last year. If you've followed my blog for a while, you know I went to Haiti last year with Mission Haiti Medical and a medical team comprised of (about) thirty people from all over Indiana, and that I kind of fell apart afterwards and hesitated to really discuss this trip with many.

But I was asked recently to talk about my experience at my church. They gave me a great amount of support last year, so, yeah. I couldn't put it off any longer. It was time to give back, if you want to call this presentation that. There were several remarkable presentations that day, but I went last, which, thank goodness because I turned into a blubbering mess all of the four times I spoke. I got so much support from so many of you, too, but I had come to the conclusion that posting this video would make me feel too vulnerable. The Internet is just so...huge. But then I received a card in the mail from a lady who was overwhelmed by my talk, moved to such a degree she took the time to send me a letter. And that was that. I was reminded of my own call to action despite vulnerability. If you watch this through to the end, you'll see what I mean. Sometimes things are really hard, but you do them anyway.

It's kind of long, though. You don't have to watch it. But it's here. Because I got a card in the mail.






Thank you to Joe and Bill and the amazing crew who made this video and to the missions team who invited me to speak.

Also? Thank you.

34 comments:

  1. You are a beautiful person. Thank you for going to Haiti. Thank you for bringing comfort to those wonderful people. Thank you for sharing your story. :) Absolutely, stunningly beautiful.

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    1. Thank you, Kim. That's very kind of you. In so many ways, it feels so small, what I did. The doctors actually provided a quantifiable service, you know? But I like to think I made a difference, even if only in a small way. It made a difference for me anyway...

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  2. Thank you for sharing this and for your willingness to go back. We do need to break, because if we don't break, we can't fully live in love, I don't think. I experienced something very similar to what you have when I went on a mission outreach into Mexico. But brokenness is here in the U.S. too; maybe manifested in different ways, but we're all broken and searching...

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    1. I'd love to hear more about your trip to Mexico, Barbara. I'm sure it had a great impact on you. And yes, there's so much pain everywhere. All kinds of need. We don't have to go far from home to find it.

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  3. You are so brave and beautiful. I feel so blessed to have you in my life. I don't have the words to describe what you made me feel watching this. I just love you so much. <3

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    1. I love you too, E. I'm so, so happy you're in my life.

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  4. I'm so very proud of you, Carol. Thanks for going on that mission, and thanks for sharing this.

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  5. I'm not watching this because it will make me cry and I am at the office.

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    1. Ha! No problem. You don't have to watch it at all, dude. It's just there. It was such a cathartic thing, I'm glad I did it.

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  6. LOL! Matt said the exact same thing i was thinking! Can't watch it until i'm done with my meetings today. But i will

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  7. Okay i took a break and watched it. It was lovely and wonderful.

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    1. Thank you, Sarah! I don't know about wonderful...I was so embarrassed. LOL But thank you.

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  8. You are so wonderful to have done this. I cried too.

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    1. Many thanks, Anne! I appreciate you coming by and taking a look <3

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  9. Awww Carolina! First it was lovely to see and hear you!! Second - you star!! Awwww I was tearing up listening to the tremors in your voice while you recounted you very personal and harrowing experiences. Take care
    x

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    1. You sweet, beautiful you. Thank you for coming by. Always a pleasure to see you pop in. Thank you for your kind words. I'm touched...

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  10. More than a band-aid. Better than a band-aid.

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  11. I am so proud to know you, and proud of you. You are so right, it is because you can feel, because you break, that makes the difference.

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  12. So proud of you for going, so proud of you for sharing. You are so beautiful inside and out, Carol. Your presentation was eloquent and compassionate.

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  13. You are amazing, and I'm incredibly proud to know you! Bless you, Carolina.

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  14. Oh Carolina. (All teary-eyed here.) There is so much beauty in all that pain. There are people in Haiti whom you touched and they will not forget you or the kindness/love you showed. It may not be enough, but it will never be in vain. From personal experience I can say, it is when you stop feeling that it is time to quit. Until then, pour yourself into their lives as much as you can. Laugh, coo, rub shoulders, weep... because it is not in vain. You can never know how one small kind act may affect one person's life. You may save the life of Nobel Prize winner, a great writer, a doctor, nurse. You can never know, and so, pour yourself into their lives. God bless you.

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  15. It's not easy to speak in front of an audience! Its a wonderful, moving thing you did!

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  16. My Sister in law and Mother in law went to Haiti. They came back with some pretty incredible stories, and while I'd love to go one day, it's not going to happen while I have littles. One day.

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  17. There are no words. You are a brave and beautiful person inside and out.

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  18. This was beautiful, Carol, and you are such a beautiful tender, loving person to have gone to Haiti and given comfort in such dire circumstances - and to be willing to break your heart and body for them. You are also brave and selfless. You've filled my heart today. Thank you for sharing this. I love you.

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  19. Thank you, Carol, for being who you are and sharing your beautiful spirit. Lives have been touched for good because of you. I must tell you that even when you're feeling broken your light is shining bright.

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  20. Oh wow. Wow wow wow.

    I remember well your original posts about this trip, about your brokenness.

    You are so brave to share this now. Your description of being not whole, but somehow full of hope - I don't have words for how moved I am.

    "I will break for you."
    Don't ever doubt how great a gift you are.

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  21. That was gut wrenching. Ugh.
    I cannot even fathom being so desperate that I felt like I needed to give my baby away. Just heart breaking.

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  22. That was stunningly beautiful and heartbreaking, Carol. I am still crying. Thank you for being so brave, thank you for feeling so much. <3

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  23. To not help because we cannot cure them all is to leave those we could help hurting without hope, without relief. Those who come to Haiti take it back with them in haunting images. Those who go know that they will leave. Those who are born there know that they will only escape it through death.

    Once there we must show compassion but not be consumed with our own reactions. Relieving the hurt of those in front of us must be forefront.

    Be careful. If the experience shatters you, you will be no good to those in your life who need you. Drowning to save a drowning person helps neither of you and robs your family and friends of the person who they also need.

    A rare blood run calls me to drive the roads again, so I must leave. You and those in Haiti are in my prayers.

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  24. Just stopping by to say hi. Kthxbai

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  25. listening and reading an interesting article and a lot of helpful info I really like blogs like this

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